It’s Snowing (in Indy)…

The weather has been quite wintry over the weekend; right now, I wouldn’t have it any other way. The only thing that sucks is the driving. Wait. Even that can be fun. For instance yesterday I was going to turn right onto my street, but instead I very gracefully began sliding on toward the next block. ‘Ho, ho, ho, Jon’, I laughed inwardly. ‘You missed your turn there, ol’ boy. Maybe try braking sooner next time. Silly boy, tricks are for kids.’ Then I cackled like an old man and put the car in reverse to try again. (Don’t ask me why my inner monologue sometimes becomes a cantankerous old fogey.)

Saturday night, the ISC performed Handel’s Messiah with the Indianapolis Chamber Orchestra at the gorgeous Ss. Peter and Paul Cathedral downtown. It was a great performance (though nearly three hours in length), and I only found out at the end of the show that Jim Irsay had been sitting in the front row the whole time. What??!! And I missed it? I only caught a quick glimpse of his snowy white hair just before I was pushed backstage by an annoyed alto. I’m sure Irsay promptly rushed home to board a private jet for Oakland, CA….

Speaking of Oakland…

…Tony Dungy and the Colts managed to attain their regular season goals on Sunday, clinching the AFC South Division Title and a first round bye for the Playoffs (thank you Jacksonville). Essentially, there won’t be another meaningful snap for Manning & Co. until January. But I guess I sort of disagree with this whole notion of the last two home games being ‘meaningless’. Is there ever a meaningless football game? Sure, it will be a good time for our starters to get some much needed rest; and there are many players who have been injured who can hopefully get healed up and ready to go in the next few weeks. But you never want to relax to the point where your team loses momentum and focus going into the Playoffs. I have confidence in Dungy’s approach, and I know he won’t let that happen to this team.

Now.

‘Meaningless’ Colts football in December…

…can only mean one thing…

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…It’s SORGI TIME!

Sore-what Time? Every Naptownian should know by now. We’re talking about Jim Sorgi, the greatest back-up quarter back in the history of the…er…um…of the Peyton Manning Era. Yeah, that’s it. Can you think of anyone who is a better insurance policy for No. 18? Jim has put up some pretty impressive numbers actually (for the 0.68 seconds of time he’s played…‘for an android that’s an eternity’).

I was listening to him on a radio interview the other day, and the guy sounds pretty smart. You know, he might actually be the most intelligent quarterback in the game of football (who doesn’t play). Who else gets to plug in the little ear piece on the sideline and listen to Tom Moore and Peyton Manning discuss all the ins and outs of the Colts offense (no, he’s not listening to Mannheim Steamroller on his iPod)? The thing is, he’s probably one of the most intelligent quarterbacks in the history of the league (but only from a cerebral standpoint, certainly not experientially). Why all these parentheses, you may ask? Well, I guess when you’re talking about No. 12 (no, not that other guy from that other team) you have to use a litany of (…)’s to make sure you’re not stepping out of line (which would be errant and sophomoric).

(AUTHOR’S NOTE: I was disappointed to discover that the word ‘parentheses’ actually has NO synonym, according to thesaurus.com. That’s a shame because thesaurus.com is probably my greatest crutch when it comes to this thing called writing. Actually it’s the most invaluable tool for those of us who only pretend to dabble in the art of bilge, calligraphy, chicken tracks, chirography, hand, handwriting, hen tracks, hieroglyphics, longhand, manuscription, penmanship, print, scrawl, scribble, script, shorthand or whatever else you want to call it…yep, I got that litany from thesaurus.com as well. Don’t you feel smarter? No? Speaking of litanies (catalogues, lists, or refrains) the Gimcracker posted a pretty exciting assortment of photos from yesterday’s snowier NFL matchups.)

I’m glad the Colts won. It may not have been pretty (it wasn’t even snowing); but it was certainly enough. Now it’s time for Dungy to coach his team into the postseason. I look forward to renewing this time of the year…a time for midnight rides downtown in overstuffed minivans with bull horns and inflatable horseshoe helmets in subzero temperatures…let  it snow…C’mon Colts…..!!!!!!

Lest I diverge too greatly…

Christmas is coming soon.

Which reminds me that I haven’t even started shopping yet. Dangit.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

(What I really wanted to say was ‘Merry Christmas!’ I didn’t not say it because I was trying to be PC [because I don’t believe in that bologna]…but I thought it was a good opportunity for another pointless post-scriptum parenthetical [bracketed, episodic, extraneous, interposed, subordinate] remark.)